The last few days have been rough for me. There has been a lot of drama going on in my husbands family and I seem to be the one that's been the focus of most of it. I have to admit that I started writing a detailed account of what happened when we lived with his mom but the more and more I wrote the more and more sick of it I got. So I erased it and started writing a condensed version that still proved I haven't lied about anything. While I was writing I was distracted by my kids playing with their friends and realized what's most important to me....my family. It was an Aha moment for me. I am truly over it!! So I erased that too! I know, and the people closest to me know, that I'm not the problem I never have been. I've tried to keep peace within the family. Even in awful situations where I would've been justified in treating certain people the way they treated me, I didn't. I still remained above it. I'm not claiming to be perfect everyone knows I'm not and I've admitted when I didn't handle situations properly. But overall I'm proud that I didn't "play dirty" or "sling mud" not saying that there haven't been days that I've thrown myself a pity party and wanted to bring out all the pictures, emails and details that would prove my side of the story the entire time. But I am over it! Yes it's forever changed or ended relationships with some people but the beautiful thing is how close it's brought me to the people that matter most. I've seen my husband and my true friends defend me when they shouldn't even have had to. Unfortunately it's changed relationships for them too just because they defended me. This is the first time in my life that I know 100% who I can turn to and depend on! It's really a great feeling!
The most annoying thing about it is the other side is still talking about it. I haven't talked about it (except those in my inner circle) or tried to rally people on "my side". I'm happy in my life and I'm happy with who I am. I also have no guilt in how I acted during the last year. I'm not going to lie that my feelings still don't get hurt with the mud slinging but overall I'm happy!! If my day to day actions dont speak louder than words than I have no room in my life for anything or anyone that goes against that. Everyone has a choice and from now on I'm chosing to not waste one more minute on this drama. That doesn't mean I've forgiven or forgotten how me and my kids were treated but I've let it go.
So my life goal is just to be HAPPY.
The things that make me happiest is spending time with my kids and my husband! Spending time with my friends and building on those relationships. So bring on a DRAMA FREE 2012!!!
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